5 KEY LEARNINGS TO DEVELOP GOOD SOCIAL AND INTERPERSONAL SKILLS


Interpersonal and social relationships are directly linked to the behaviors and attitudes that determine the degree of friendliness in society and within an organization: family, work, or random group.

Not all people can participate in groups to create authentic connections, transmit desires, or establish a conversation that prevents the individual from developing any interpersonal or intrapersonal relationship and ability.

This article will briefly diverge social skills from interpersonal skills and leave some attitudes you can choose to take to approbate social and interpersonal relationships more profoundly.

What is the difference between Social Skills and Interpersonal Skills?

Social Skills are used to refer to a set of emotional and social abilities that are developed to interact with the social groups people interact with in general. However Interpersonal Skills are mostly used to refer to a set of emotional, social and ethical abilities at work, they can be considered part of social skills!

We can develop both in the same way, the major difference between Social and Interpersonal Skills are the environment in which they are applied. 

Certainly understanding in depth what social and interpersonal skills are would be helpful to you ; join us by reading this article until the end so you can understand key learning to achieve both social and interpersonal skills.

What are Social Skills?

Social skills can be defined as a set of skills and abilities that allow us to relate with other people appropriately, being able to express our feelings, opinions, desires, or needs in different contexts or situations without experiencing tension, anxiety, or other negative emotions.

Some people have a hard time saying no. Others have difficulties initiating, holding, or closing conversations; others can not deal effectively with criticism, relate to people of the other sex, enforce personal rights, make requests or ask for favors or publicly speak.

It is a reciprocal interaction between two or more people. Human beings are beings which by their very nature require relationships with other people.

And what are Interpersonal Skills?

Interpersonal skills form a set of behaviors and habits necessary to ensure proper interaction, usually at work, improve personal relationships, and achieve the objectives of communication: to transmit or receive a message correctly, information, or an order. 

When we talk about interpersonal relationships, we can also understand the union of several individuals within the corporate environment. It is common for this relationship to develop between professionals who work in the same organization or are part of the same team.

 How to Develop Social and Interpersonal Skills?

Interaction with others is the primordial way of developing both social and interpersonal skills; from early life, we are influenced by our family members.

We cannot forget when we start going to school, the learning of attitudes, the construction of values with the environment, the perception of situations from the point of view of others.

When we became developing our identity and the identification of support networks for difficult situations, among others.

Social/ interpersonal relationships are essential because they help a person recognize oneself, build one’s identity, and recognize one’s values and principles to function appropriately in society.

5 KEY LEARNINGS TO DEVELOP GOOD SOCIAL AND INTERPERSONAL SKILLS

1. START AND HOLD CONVERSATIONS

The primary means of communicating is through the word, or what we know as conversation.  Conversation allows us to build relationships with other people, convey information, share feelings, views, and experiences.

There are significant differences in people’s ability to communicate effectively; there are people with whom we find it very pleasant to be and talk.

 With others instead, we feel uncomfortable, misunderstood, and empty; they are usually people who do not give us anything, with whom we get bored, and we have no talking points.

Knowing how to chat and communicate effectively is essential in many situations in our lives, for example, a) cultivating social support, b) avoid isolation, c) getting a job, d) establishing intimate relations, e) make friends, or f) solve conflicts.

  • Some people have difficulty communicating, especially with strangers.  On the other hand, others do not think they have a problem relating to other people and maybe perceived as sympathetic or skillful.

This can happen because, for example, they can address a stranger openly or to meddle in someone else’s conversation without any shame. 

 However, this behavior is not always appropriate, and sometimes it could be very skillful, annoying, or uncomfortable.

3 Smart ways to Start Conversations

  1. Make a standard impersonal comment:  “What a nice day,” “What a beautiful place,” “How hot it is today”;
  2. Say something nice to the other person:  “you got it right by taking the umbrella,” “I liked it when you said…”
  3. Say something nice:  “What a beautiful scarf”   and add an open question:  “Would you mind telling me where you bought it?”

TASK:  Try to start conversations using these three types of techniques in situations of your daily life:  in the elevator, on the bus, in the supermarket queue, in a cafeteria.

Non-verbal language:  Speak slowly using a friendly tone, and don’t forget to smile.

How to Hold Conversations?

The primary purpose of having a conversation is to make the talk enjoyable, entertaining, and engaging. A very effective strategy for conversations is self-revelation.

It gives a little more information requested about our interests, hobbies, projects, lifestyle, etc.  For example, if we’re with someone we just met, they ask us if we’re going away for the weekend.

Instead of simply answering “YES” or “NO,” we can add:   “No, unfortunately, this weekend I cannot, I work as a nurse, and I am on call,  but the next if nothing happens, I can come and visit you in Lisbon.”

5 Skillful ways to Engage in Conversation

  1. Establish Eye contact 
  2. Show interest in the subject 
  3. Listen carefully; don’t rush to answer it
  4. Adopt a respectful attitude by not interrupting the person who is talking
  5. Give some information about yourself

Highly Recommended Articles:

10 Traits of a Great Conversation

300 Examples of interesting Questions to ask and hold a Conversation

2. SHOW ASSERTIVENESS BY EXPRESSING POSITIVE FEELINGS

Being an assertive person doesn’t just imply the ability to express negative feelings.  Assertiveness also includes the expression of positive emotions and feelings.

Both in social and interpersonal skills expressing positive feelings is also defined as making sincere compliments. Some people think that learning to express positive feelings or praise other people is learning to be false.

Nothing could be further from the truth.  Well, it’s not about flattering or playing the ball for some benefit.

It’s about honestly expressing positive feelings to people around us that we appreciate, feel good about, or like about something. Praise can be of diverse content:  abilities, skills, affective, personal, and social.

By culture, we cannot be used to express to our family, friends, partners, or colleagues what we admire or appreciate in them. 

However, expressing positive feelings is one of the most important and beneficial social skills for establishing successful relationships.

  • Most people feel great when we receive a compliment or sincere acknowledgment from someone else;
  •  Expressing to other people what we like about their behavior strengthens and tightens relationships;
  • Henceforth try to make sincere compliments to other people, but try not to go over and do too many; even if they are honest, they might imply otherwise.

9 Templates to inspire you to Express Positive Feelings

  1. I loved talking to you.  
  2. You made me feel so good.  
  3. Thank you. That dress looks great on you.   
  4. You look .stunning
  5. This quiche is second to none. It’s impossible to imitate you.
  6. You’ve done an excellent job.  I liked it.
  7.  How beautiful you have the plants.  You can see that they are well cared for
  8.  How nice your house always smells
  9. What a good idea you had, please tell me more about it.

3. SELF-KNOWLEDGE

According to Psychology, self-knowledge means the concept an individual has of himself. 

The practice of getting to know each other more and better makes the person have more effective control over their positive emotions or not.

 And this emotional control can prevent feelings of low self-esteem, restlessness, frustration, anxiety, emotional instability, and others, proving to be an essential exercise of well-being.

4. SELF-CONSCIOUS

People must perceive the emotions they feel because, without this awareness, the difficulties of developing skills and skills in relationships grow. 

But the question arises: to what extent are people aware of themselves?

For example, to control rage, we need to be aware of what triggers it and how it leaves us. Sharpened self-consciousness allows the person to monitor and observe themselves in action.

The people must understand what is important to them, how they experience things, what they want, how they feel, and how they address others.

  • This subjective knowledge of the nature of our personality not only guides conduct but also provides you with a solid framework for making better choices;
  • Self-consciousness leads to the development of skills such as emotional perception, accurate self-assessment, and self-confidence.

5. PRACTICE OF PROBLEM-SOLVING

Accepting that problems are part of life gives us less chance to think that there is something wrong because we have problems. Besides, we’re less likely to deny that they exist. 

The human being tends to deny that problems exist because they – in general – disturb us; but banning them does not make them disappear. Instead, do the opposite, observe and evaluate the best way to resolve the whole situation that caused the problem.

Weisinger (2001), in his book “Emotional Intelligence at Work,” details how to be a good problem solver:

  1. Identify and define the problematic situation

Put the problem in focus, specifically and concretely, identifying what is relevant and what is not. Essential questions: who, what, why, when, how.

  1. Change your perception of the situation.

We tend to examine problem situations with limited and partial vision; instead, choose to reformulate your thoughts on the case, analyzing it from various angles. 

You will have a great possibility of new and valuable responses. After all, think that you face a challenging situation and take appropriate steps to react effectively.

Conclusion

It is the nature of the human being to relate, and the better and more positive these relationships are, the greater the chances of building genuine connections with the people we live with.

Reference and Further Reading

10 Excellent Ways to Develop Interpersonal Skills at Work.EDUCBA

AMADEBAI, Emidio. TOP 7 BENEFITS OF STRONG SOCIAL SKILLS AS AN ADULT. Ace The Presentation.

Investopedia. How do Interpersonal Skills Influence Business Culture?

MORIN, Amy. 12 Ways To Improve Social Skills And Make You Sociable Anytime.

Emidio Amadebai

An avid seeker of knowledge, and passionate about sharing the lessons he picks up in life. Emidio is passionate about public speaking, teaching, and helping others develop critical soft skills, such as communication, leadership, and other interpersonal skills which are in high demand in today's rapidly evolving market.

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